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Today's the day
Created on 2008-01-15 12:18:56 (#14681549), last updated 2009-09-01
771 comments received, 961 comments posted
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Basic Info| Name: | ryuuzaki_sakuno |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 01-14 |
BioIf I'm not available, please leave me a message here: http://community.livejournal.com/tenipuriu_msg/24495.html
A year ago, if you'd asked me where I would be, I would have said Seigaku University. Or maybe with a job. But no doubt, I would be with Oba-chan.
She's been the one constant in my life. She took care of me all my life, ever since my parents were killed in a car crash when I was only a few months old.
But now. I feel so lost. Oba-chan's heart problems, they finally caught up with her. She had a heart attack, a bad one, in September. The hospital staff had her stay at the hospital until the end. Which was honestly only a few weeks ago.
I have no idea what I should do. But I want to do something that would make Oba-chan proud of me. But Tokyo's got too many memories.
I want to cry so much. I do. I am. It's hard. So hard.
But, after seeing the hospital staff and how they tried to hard to save Oba-chan, it makes me inspired. I want to do that, I think. Try to help people. No one needs to watch a loved one die slowly.
It's even harder though, to go through this with no family. Oba-chan was all I had left. Papa was an only child and Mama's family disowned her when she married Papa.
I need a fresh start. I do.
-----
Well, I'm back. Or rather, I will be. I'm supposed to move back to Osaka soon, later this week, after I find out where I'll be living at and get my classes finalized.
Ano, it's been a while. How is everyone? What's happened in the last few months?
Hmm, I guess I should probably fill you guys in on what happened too and why I just left out of nowhere. Well...
Life was crazy a few months ago. I took on quite a bit between school and work but it was fine. However, I never expected to receive a phone call from a man claiming to be my uncle. That sent me into a dark place and I cracked.
While I was recuperating, partially in the Tokyo hospital, I got to know a few of the nurses really well. And when I was there with them, they told me the story of previous patients. I couldn't help but ask if they'd gotten attached any of them. One of the women, Kiyoki-san, told me that it was almost impossible not to and when the people left, recovered or dead, it was one of the hardest things.
Their words made me think. Could I really keep myself distanced enough from people that I spent all my time caring for? No, I realized. Even if they were just random people, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from caring. Losing Oba-chan had almost killed me. To meet people and realize that they might die everyday...I couldn't do it.
So I thought. If not health care, then what? What could I do? What did I want to do?
It didn't actually come to me though until I was wandering around one day. I have always liked children and they have seemed to really like me. Plus, I want to do something that would make a difference. My teachers were some of the most influential people in my life. Why not teach elementary children? It seemed like the perfect choice. Besides, I'd been undecided before, just leaning towards the health field. My classes were mostly gen. ed. So that's how I ended up with elementary teacher as my new career choice.
And ano, that's that.
----
A year ago, if you'd asked me where I would be, I would have said Seigaku University. Or maybe with a job. But no doubt, I would be with Oba-chan.
She's been the one constant in my life. She took care of me all my life, ever since my parents were killed in a car crash when I was only a few months old.
But now. I feel so lost. Oba-chan's heart problems, they finally caught up with her. She had a heart attack, a bad one, in September. The hospital staff had her stay at the hospital until the end. Which was honestly only a few weeks ago.
I have no idea what I should do. But I want to do something that would make Oba-chan proud of me. But Tokyo's got too many memories.
I want to cry so much. I do. I am. It's hard. So hard.
But, after seeing the hospital staff and how they tried to hard to save Oba-chan, it makes me inspired. I want to do that, I think. Try to help people. No one needs to watch a loved one die slowly.
It's even harder though, to go through this with no family. Oba-chan was all I had left. Papa was an only child and Mama's family disowned her when she married Papa.
I need a fresh start. I do.
-----
Well, I'm back. Or rather, I will be. I'm supposed to move back to Osaka soon, later this week, after I find out where I'll be living at and get my classes finalized.
Ano, it's been a while. How is everyone? What's happened in the last few months?
Hmm, I guess I should probably fill you guys in on what happened too and why I just left out of nowhere. Well...
Life was crazy a few months ago. I took on quite a bit between school and work but it was fine. However, I never expected to receive a phone call from a man claiming to be my uncle. That sent me into a dark place and I cracked.
While I was recuperating, partially in the Tokyo hospital, I got to know a few of the nurses really well. And when I was there with them, they told me the story of previous patients. I couldn't help but ask if they'd gotten attached any of them. One of the women, Kiyoki-san, told me that it was almost impossible not to and when the people left, recovered or dead, it was one of the hardest things.
Their words made me think. Could I really keep myself distanced enough from people that I spent all my time caring for? No, I realized. Even if they were just random people, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from caring. Losing Oba-chan had almost killed me. To meet people and realize that they might die everyday...I couldn't do it.
So I thought. If not health care, then what? What could I do? What did I want to do?
It didn't actually come to me though until I was wandering around one day. I have always liked children and they have seemed to really like me. Plus, I want to do something that would make a difference. My teachers were some of the most influential people in my life. Why not teach elementary children? It seemed like the perfect choice. Besides, I'd been undecided before, just leaning towards the health field. My classes were mostly gen. ed. So that's how I ended up with elementary teacher as my new career choice.
And ano, that's that.
----
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